When you decide to break up with your Japanese girlfriend, how the talk goes can influence whether your relationship will end on a good note. What kind of breakup lines do Japanese girls find unreasonable? We asked Japanese girls to tell us nine unfair ways guys start breakup talks.
1. He starts off with a contradictory statement, like “I like you, but…”
“We don’t need to break up if he likes me! It would feel better if he told me he didn’t like me anymore.” You may have chosen these words because you don’t want to hurt your Japanese girlfriend, but she might not get it. It’s better for the both of you if you steel yourself to tell the truth.
2. He tries to avoid being criticized, like “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me.”
“He probably thinks this will prevent me from coming back at him. That’s sneaky.” Japanese girls are aware of your hidden intentions even when you say you are the one at fault. You should avoid saying hurtful things, but remember that you sound more sincere when you let her know what didn’t work for you.
3. He abandons his commitment as a boyfriend, like “I can’t make you happy.”
“I define my own happiness! He’s lying to make himself sound cool.” You are wrong if you think you can define your partner’s happiness using your own standards. If you really care about your Japanese girlfriend’s happiness, you need to work on yourself.
4. He pretends to be considerate, like “It’s better for you if we break up.”
“He’s doing this 100% for himself. I don’t want him to talk to me as if he’s doing me a favor.” Pretending to care for your Japanese girlfriend can backfire and irritate her instead. Forget about not being the bad guy. You’ll appear more truthful when you are honest about why you are breaking up.
5. He emphasizes that it’s not his fault, like “Work is keeping me busy…”
“Only a coward would blame the situation to cover up the fact that he doesn’t love me anymore.” Even if you think you’ve come up with a plausible explanation for your breakup, it might be difficult to get your Japanese girlfriend to get it. Japanese girls don’t often consider being too busy with studies or extracurricular activities, let alone work, as a reason to end a relationship.
6. He tries to gloss over the real reason for the breakup, like “I’m sure you’ll find better guys.”
“It’s well put, but he’s just looking for an easy way out.” It’s not fair to hide what you honestly feel when you are breaking up with your Japanese girlfriend. Japanese girls will know when you are making an excuse, even if you say something like “You are too good for me.”
7. He tries to settle everything by saying, “sorry.”
“He’s the one who’s breaking up with me. He shouldn’t be tearing up while saying he’s sorry! I’m the one who should be crying!” You will be perceived as a coward when you keep apologizing just to avoid having a conversation. A more manly way to break up would be to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your Japanese girlfriend rather than apologizing repeatedly.
8. He tries to stay in touch, like “Let’s be just friends.”
“He just wants to keep me as a backup plan. That’s way too selfish.” Some Japanese girls don’t even know what to feel when guys are selfish and they suggest remaining friends. Be prepared to give her some space so you can both move on.
9. He wants to break up but forces his girlfriend to make the call, like “It’s up to you.”
“It’s not fair that I have to be the one to make the final call.” Women find it upsetting when guys don’t want to take responsibility for making an important decision. You must also avoid telling people that you were dumped after it happens.